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MEMO To:- The Right Hon. Michael Martin. Now, young man, I was brought up to the belief that here, in the U.K., we have, in the ‘Mother of Parliaments’, the finest system of truly democratic government in the world. An inevitable corollary of this was the assumption that what we had, therefore, must be good, efficient and intrinsically just and fair. Because I am a little on the slow side, and as politically naive as 99% of the rest of the population of this country, it has taken me 73 years to work out just what a load of crap those beliefs and assumptions are. Since, with age, I am fast becoming as arrogant (not to mention as bloody minded) as most of those over whom you preside, it has occurred to me that my views are at least as valid as theirs and therefore deserve an airing. This I am, to some limited extent, achieving via my website. However, things have come to such a pass recently that I really do feel that those concerned should be castigated directly and since, very conveniently, there exists no mechanism for doing this then I must needs create one. Since I cannot easily write to each of them individually it occurred to me that the best option was to write to you and you could kick their arses for me. As I have written elsewhere * I have, over the years, been compelled to the view that every few years as we trundle along to the polling stations and participate in what I have come to regard as another act in a long running farce called a general election, we go to an enormous amount of trouble to find the most accomplished liars, cheats, hypocrites, pansies, poofs, nosey parkers, interfering busybodies, arrogant ignorant pillocks, pusillanimous cowards and plain straight forward crooks that the country can produce and we then send a selection of them to the Palace of Westminster as MPs. The actual political affiliation of these people is really irrelevant. From where I am sitting, and again as I have written elsewhere*, they collectively have the semblance of a set of clones all coming out of the same mould; there are just marginal differences in the tripe that they preach and the garbage that they put into the statute book. The problem, as I see it at the moment, is that they are making less and less effort to hide these less than desirable attributes and ever increasingly, as a result, are becoming a total laughing stock. With their set piece performances – Prime Minister’s question time is a classic example – having descended to the level of second rate music hall then what we actually seem to have elected is a bunch of bungling, bumbling amateur performers of very dubious competence - and it’s showing. Now I didn’t make them into this laughing stock, they did it all on their own – one, in fact, of their very few success stories ! However, just what the currently much media vaunted success in these comic opera displays has to do with actual governmental competence totally eludes me. Unfortunately, it would seem, it also eludes them !! You could, perhaps point out to young Cameron that Parliament is not supposed to be entertaining. Government is a serious business – though you could be forgiven for not realising this when watching the current shambles. We have a mass murderer for a Prime Minister – not, of course, for the first time – who declares a war that the people do not want and that a couple of thousand years of history, including the fiasco of the 1920s from which he has obviously learnt nothing, testify that we cannot and will not win, purely for his own historical aggrandisement. A declaration of war, moreover, which, according to The Oxford English Dictionary, was as flagrant an act of terrorism, which he so vehemently and hypocritically eschews, as you are ever likely to find. A Prime Minister who, I see in the news, is currently calling for the reform of the United Nations. What on earth for? When this organisation doesn’t agree with what he wants he ignores it and goes his own sweet way. Or am I missing something and reform actually means that it should do as it’s told – by him ? A Prime Minister who is so unutterably stupid that he signals an advance warning of his eventual departure before he is prepared to go; abolishes the hereditary element of the House of Lords without a clue as to what he wants to put in its place and then has the effrontery to claim that “the people are in charge”. Are they hell !! That is nearly as funny, and just as ridiculous, as that other laughing stock - John Prescott - claiming that he is ‘earning’ his money ! We have philanderers who keep popping out of the woodwork, into somebody else’s bed and then straight into the newspapers. I actually don’t give a damn, in principle, how much they philander except that if they cannot keep their word in their private lives how the hell can I be expected to believe that they will keep it in their public lives – which, of course, according to my take on things, they frequently don’t. Then we have the slowly growing list of MPs who finish up in Court or even in Prison – and that’s only the ones that get caught. What next ? The list of public disasters which may be realistically attributed to crass incompetence continues to grow. We have the débâcle at the Child Support Agency and another at the Criminal Records Bureau. There’s the ongoing farce with the system of Income Tax Credits and the total cock-up with Farmers’ Subsidies. Not to mention the Pension System which has been a complete lash-up since it came into being in 1908. We have chaos on the railways and at peak times our motorways are becoming oversized car parks. Our society has degenerated into an ill mannered, ill tempered, ill disciplined and illiterate rabble – a mirror image of the House of Commons in fact. And, of course, we have a whole series of current catastrophes at the Home Office. According to one headline, lifted from the internet, “Reid Says U.K. Home Office Unfit for Purpose, Orders Overhaul” - Dr. Reid, the latest in a long line of bumbling amateurs to take on the job of Home Secretary, appears to agree that the Home Office is actually in a mess. Now who the hell’s fault is that ? It is up to Parliament to see that the jobs that it has decreed should be done are done and done properly. Parliament, however, is so busy wasting its time and my money on the glamour of producing more and more, usually quite useless, legislation – much of it in defiance of the ethic “if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it” - that it just doesn’t attend much at all to the more prosaic, and decidedly less glamorous, business of actually running the country. Little, if any, intelligent thought is directed toward the problem of whether the existing infrastructure and staff can cope with the consequences of this never ending flood of useless legislation, the apparent need for much of which being the consequence of a previous round of ill thought out rubbish just not working. The usual, equally useless, answer is to throw money at it – not theirs of course; they’d be a damned sight more circumspect if it was! This, again, is crass incompetence. There is, of course, no publicity, no kudos and no acclamation for the mundane task of seeing that a job is done properly, and mundane tasks like these are not what the Hon. Members had in mind when they got themselves elected. All they wanted was the glory, the power (particularly the power) and the joy of interfering – not to mention the money, of course. Besides which, it is becoming manifestly apparent that, unqualified amateurs as, by definition, they are, they are just not competent to do the job anyway. I am reminded of an observation made by Democritus around 2400 years ago which runs:- “Men remember one’s mistakes rather than one’s successes. This is just. For as those who return a deposit do not deserve praise, whereas those who do not do so deserve blame and punishment. So it is with the official: he was elected not to make mistakes but to do things well.” (The highlighting is mine). It is more than apparent that it is not just the Home Office that is in dire need of a thorough overhaul. Apart from the M.O.D which is an even worse shambles (and arrogant, uncaring and pig-ignorant with it) so, indeed, is the ‘Mother of Parliaments’ - desperately. From where I am standing it appears that in Parliament today we are really plumbing the depths as far as competence, truth and decency are concerned and, sadly, I am by no means convinced that we have yet hit rock bottom. Once upon a time Hon. Members caught with their pants down, either metaphorically or literally, had the common decency to resign. They may, indeed, still be common but they are noticeably lacking in decency and hang on to office like grim death. Once upon a time the shame of failure, again either metaphorical or literal, was enough to see the offender off, voluntarily. Now they have no shame - the lust for power overrides everything. Even if they go, then frequently after a minimal interval they’re back – often to transgress again. Alternatively they’re kicked ‘upstairs’ where, it is thought, they can’t do too much harm or they’re shunted off to Brussels (sometimes even with a Knighthood, no less) where they can, and frequently do, do even more harm. All of these things, as I understand it, are specifically under the direct control of the Prime Minister which prompts me to ask just how stupid do you have to be these days to qualify as Prime Minister ? We have Dr. Ian Gibson (Norwich N.) telling us that we should get back to the real problems which are noisy neighbours, housing, roads etc. etc. He’s wrong – the real problem is Parliament itself. The real problem is whether the garbage that we see fit to elect is capable of doing the job. As I see things it manifestly obviously isn’t. This sink of vice, this den of iniquity this haven for incompetence no longer enjoys, as far as I can determine, the respect of the people. They increasingly stay away from the polls as the only protest that they can make against the crap for which they are being invited to vote. A glowing testament to the wanton, bloody minded stupidity prevalent amongst those that currently get themselves ‘elected’ is the recent call by Geoff. Hoon – another Barrister*, God help us – for voting to be made compulsory. Just what on earth does he think that that is going to solve ? Cover up yes, solve no! To cap it all the majority of the Hon. Members are, apparently, not even literate. It is all too apparent from their usage of the words that they have no idea what ‘terrorist’ and the concept of ‘democracy’ actually mean*. Let’s face it, contrary to what they keep telling us, we don’t even live in a democracy – it’s an oligarchy. However, all that apart, let’s consider a classic piece of House of Commons gobbledegook – the motion which took us to war with Iraq - Division Number 118 on the18th. March 2003. What we have here, in fact, is a collection of 389 words, 8 semi-colons, 13 commas and 1 full stop all crammed into one sentence. Assuming that you have bothered to read it at all then it will undoubtedly rank as the most concentrated piece of pseudo-English garbage that you are ever likely to read. And, in defiance of the views of the majority of the country, we went to war on the basis that 412 of our obviously semi-literate 'representatives' actually voted for it. All of this, of course, largely accounts for the self evident fact that most of our law is steadfastly ignored by most of the population, most of the time, or as often as they think that they can get away with it as, written in gibberish, as it is, they can’t even begin to understand it. Sadly, neither can most of those who legislate it ! I well remember seeing an M.P. (unfortunately I cannot now remember who) being interviewed some years ago on Television concerning a then recently enacted Bill. His final comment was a classic. “It will now” he said “have to go before the Courts to find out what the law actually is”. Just how stupid can you all get ? As you sit there wasting your life (about which I care nothing) and my money (about which, as pensioner, I care quite a lot) presiding over this gathering of bumbling, blundering amateurs don’t you ever think, assuming that you are capable of original thought, that you might, even at this late stage, attempt to do something useful with your life ? Or is the money, together with the totally obscene pension, just too great a temptation ? Now don’t run away with the idea that this is a personal attack on you – you really aren’t worth that much effort – but there is something sadly wrong with a system that not only allows these states of affairs to arise but also to persist and those responsible should be brought to account. The problem is that they never are because, as I said at the head of this piece, no mechanism exists for the purpose and, as has become so obvious in so many other spheres over the years, self regulation doesn’t work ! The whole of the operation over which you preside, at present, is an exercise in power without responsibility. It is arguable that in a properly constituted and fully democratic chamber self regulation could work, but in present circumstances with the existence and intervention of the ‘Working Men’s Clubs’, to one or other of which virtually all M.P.s are affiliated, to which they mistakenly owe their first loyalty and around the financing of which there is, currently, such a decidedly unpleasant smell, there really is no chance. The existence, make up, organisation and behaviour of this House together with the general ethos of its members, have in my view, as it is presently constituted, collectively, become an affront to decency. This House should, therefore, again in my view, be dissolved, disbanded and consigned to history to be replaced with something that delivers, democratically (for a change), what the people want (as opposed to what the Hon. Members, or their party leaders, want); that keeps the Hon. Members in their appropriate place as the servants, rather than as the (supposed) masters, of the people (which is the paramount requirement of a democracy) and engenders the necessary respect that is so lacking in the present system. It really is time that this present multi-ringed circus was closed down for good to make way for something more deserving of a 21st. century legislature. Any business, judged on the performance and results outlined above would have ceased trading long ago. Isn’t it time to say enough is enough ? We lightly bandy around the concept of respect as if it is a due; something that can, at will, be demanded of others. This is, of course, a load of baloney. Respect has to be earned and, sadly and regrettably, you and those over whom you preside together with the institution that you represent are just not earning it - quite the reverse in fact. What I feel is not so much respect as disgust and contempt. What we need is a clean sweep. An election where anyone who has ever stood previously, let alone been elected, is barred and where political parties, though not unlawful, enjoy no official recognition. Each prospective MP would then have to stand on his or her own merits and be ultimately responsible to his or her electors to represent THEIR views which, surprise, surprise, is what real democracy is actually all about. I say to all of those currently in the House (with apologies to Lady Macbeth) - get out, go, stand not upon the order of your going but go at once. We desperately need a change, the rubbish that we voted out last time is not the answer and, in my view, anyone wanting to be Prime Minister as much as Gordon Brown apparently does is likely to be downright bloody dangerous if he/she ever manages it.
This is my take on what I have seen or heard reported and on what I see and have seen happening around me. I suppose that I could be held to be in contempt of the House for it, which would probably be fair as that is very much the way that I feel. However, I might have got it wrong. Unlike your Hon. Members who, for the most part, rarely, if ever, acknowledge their mistakes (and then usually only if there is some political capital to be made from the admission) I freely admit my possible fallibility. Parliament works on opinion – facts get in the way and are avoided wherever possible. Any unpalatable fact is always, in debate, reduced to an opinion. This piece is essentially the same. It is the way I see it and is at least as valid as the way you say you see it. Finally, even though you might like to, don’t shoot the messenger. It may relieve your feelings and give you a lot of satisfaction but, believe me, it will solve nothing ! * See other relevant articles on this site. Without Prejudice and E. & O.E. |
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